Friday 8 August 2014

Chief lands in the US

I have been contemplating suing the government in the past few days for exposing me to situations that are likely to cause ulcers. I wonder how my subjects in dreamland would react were I to be reincarnated as Aden Duale – their demons would be in trouble. Especially if I happened to meet another noble reincarnation that takes the shape of Justin Muturi; I mean it would be one of those teams you would not beat, not because we are unbeatable but because our words and actions would send you straight to the surgeons desk for a quick operation to remove a new lymph node…or you would most probably discover the magic of the bar. In such moments, as you would already have known, I take my dreamland siesta to seek solutions in the world yonder. Never mind it is just past 1pm, it is the perfect time for my foray in to my own fiefdom.

If my dream was to begin from the middle, you would miss mundane stuff that I do not want to tell you like how I reacted to the invitation from Potus to attend the  US-Africa Summit. I usually think that this guy is quite overrated, I have new acquaintances in the East and I don’t even give a damn what he does to me. I forgive but I never forget, especially when the actions are meant to demean me and my people, and my generations to come. They will read about how he never even just made a call to say that he was at the neighbour’s. Who the hell do Americans think they are?

However, as I was rereading the invitation for the fourth time in twenty minutes and verifying the signature to just make sure it was not a forged document

Friday 9 May 2014

Introducing Nabii Msa

Today I wanted to go to church but there was nobody to accompany me. Nya Seme had not called for the past few days, neither had Kanini. So I decided to make up my mind. Twenty minutes later, I was still making up my mind on the sofa, trying to keep my eyes wide. I did not want to go to dreamland because it vexes me to have visions about how Nabii Msa was leading us all in to one thick ball of fire.

It was only after I sent the cup crashing to the ground with some masala tea that I discovered I had been defeated so I gave up. Before long, I saw a whole congregation trooping like shepherded sheep into the sanctuary – mostly women in all kinds of attires, some in handkerchiefs tied round their waists with tight fittings following the contour of their thighs, legs to the ankles. Others, however, were quite honourable with long marindas and headscarves, just like my mother back in the day. There were a few men trudging along

Monday 28 April 2014

My Intro

I was lying down on my bed watching a spider deftly work its web at the top corner of my room. I used to brush these insects off my walls untill I heard a woman question how her friend of could sit with spiders in the house.

‘Gosh, imagine she can’t even pull out the webs in her house...so dirty! I even met a gecko...oh my Goodness, gosh!’ she told the radio host in a voice that barely hid her disdain for the said ‘friend’.

I might clear the spiders, but geckos no way. I love wild animals that decide to be domesticated(I am not quite sure whether a gecko is a wild or a domestic animal, the albino one). I looked at the gecko that was maybe also watching the spider and smiled. What is wrong with a gecko being in the house anyway? They help catch the flies, and the roaches I guess. Especially when you have a neighbour like Mama Shiro who keeps on throwing some live cockroaches outside after spraying intoxicating liquids in her house...they have to look for refuge and my door does not exactly touch the floor. There is a day she woke me up